Self-isolation feels a lot like vanlife!

We’ve learnt a lot about ourselves since we left Brisbane in June. Last year we chose to give up most of our worldly possessions and travel around the UK in our motorhome, just the three of us, for months on end.

So when Tom got a cough last Saturday that turned into a fever by Tuesday morning I wasn’t too concerned about a long spell of self-isolation in our little cottage in Southwell. I had already done a stock-take of our food supplies (we’ve enough for a couple of weeks) and with life having been so busy these past few months the prospect of a break was inviting.

I laughed that it’s “business-as-usual” for Lee who’s been working from home since June and is used to spending big chunks of time indoors – as an introvert this doesn’t seem to bother him. For Tom and I, on the other hand, being at home all day is a relative novelty whilst here in Southwell – as we’ve been used to being out and about in the community, with Tom’s pre-school, and my care work and now-defunct-Marathon-training.

In lots of ways though we are mentally prepared for life in quarantine. Last year, we chose to embark on a lifestyle which meant giving up work, reducing our outgoings, sacrificing (some) social activities, giving up meat, being less wasteful, and becoming, in general, more comfortable with uncertainty (around our income and living arrangements). The key words here though are we chose. For the majority of society this Coronavirus crisis and the Government’s (no doubt soon to be enforced) containment measures will be a radical shift in the way they live.

Most people are about to face a situation they won’t be used to – unbroken time with their loved ones, with no outside social interaction (well, virtual only) and very little alone time. Already friends are saying they might throttle their partner if they have to be around them for weeks on end. I read an interesting news article today that divorce rates are set to rocket as people are forced to spend weeks together in confined spaces, under quarantine.

It’s a tough time for everyone, with people’s jobs under threat and the economy taking a nose-dive – it almost feels like the end of the world, or capitalism at least, and I think people are starting to imagine a life without luxury items on tap – or even basic ones for that matter. One commentator the other day wrote that people should reconsider the desperate plights of those refugees who are displaced due to civil war and scarcity of resources when the ‘developed’ world are already having punch-ups over toilet rolls in supermarkets.

Lee and I have been trying to establish minimalist habits for the past 16 months, in an attempt to focus on what is more meaningful to us – relationships, passions and values. The best way I can describe it is akin to some of the Eastern philosophies which place more focus on nurturing the never-changing internal self or ‘essence’ of who we are, and less on the external material and transient ‘stuff’ and ‘things’.

So, as a positive reframe, we could try to view these periods of isolation as an opportunity to re-connect with our passions and values, and to find within us the compassion and kindness for others – an opportunity for genuine connections with family and friends. These are the attributes that no virus or economic downturn can take from us. Lockdown is a chance to focus on what truly matters. That said, our UK trip in the van proved it’s not always easy to live in a confined space with each other 24/7 – especially with a small kid – but on the whole we survived and thrived, whilst learning a lot of lessons along the way.

1. It’s a state of mind

Any change in lifestyle requires a period of adjustment – starting a new job, having a baby, moving abroad, a new diet…so being physically isolated from the rest of the world plus living together 24/7 in close quarters is no exception. It’s not just about the isolation though, it’s the uncertainty that’s freaking a lot of people out and causing permanent states of fear and anxiety. Keeping the mind healthy and calm is critical. Find your zen, whether it’s meditation, exercise or blogging! I love to plan, but on this UK trip I’ve needed to become comfortable with the unknown. I also suffer with claustrophobia, so I’ve had to talk myself out of my natural impulse to panic, feeling like the walls are closing in, and re-cognise (literally like self-CBT) that I’m safe, I’m okay. The brain is amazing, we can construct a whole reality with it.

2. Concentrate on creative pursuits

One of the big catalysts for leaving Brisbane for a while was that we’d got sucked into a daily existence of working, eating, cleaning, sleeping. We’d lost our passion for other pursuits. We’d lost our mo-jo. Being isolated in a van, often with no internet and no work to do (or less work in Lee’s case) meant we had heaps of time to get creative; whether that be playing the uke, drawing, writing, making stuff or cooking. We also had more time for each other – going for long walks, making fires, reading stories together. It’s quite scary at first to be faced with lots of free-time to fill and to begin with you wonder “what do I enjoy doing again when I’m not at work or being entertained?”. It’s a real opportunity to get to know yourself and re-discover your passions.

3. The Power Hour

Despite lots of big smiles and laughter Tom was often a grizzly baby and quite demanding (aka: normal), so on a trip to Bali when he was 15 months old, Lee and I came up with “Power Hour”. It’s an hour or so of guaranteed guilt-free alone time. An opportunity to de-stress and recharge – feeling once again ready to face a whinging toddler for the rest of the day. We kept this going when we were in the van. Lee would take Tom to the park or the beach for an hour whilst I read my book in peace. I would do the same in return. Lee suggested we bring this practice into self-isolation as another way of staying sane. That’s one suggestion I definitely won’t knock.

4. News and social media detox

Being in a van in the middle of the Scottish Highlands or deep in the Welsh hills has its benefits when it comes to social media, or lack thereof. Having no 4G or access to the internet means you get a break from screen-time and pointless browsing. One of the key pieces of advice being given at the moment from mental health charities is that people should limit the amount of news they read during this pandemic, as it’s causing a rise in anxiety and depression. Social media is also a big no no during times of stress and uncertainty as it creates a sense of panic and is contagious in itself. Lee and I secretly love having no phone signal when we camp remotely as it’s a real detox from the outside world. Yet another strategy for bringing some peace and calm into our day.

5. Keeping bad habits in check

Lee and I got into a bad habit in the van of cracking a bottle of wine most evenings, as the excitement of our trip and the long British summer nights got the better of us. By the end of the trip we were both feeling less-than-average having gained puffy faces and few more kilos on the scales. I gave up alcohol for dry-January and just carried on – it’s a real buzz to know I don’t need a drink (and believe me anyone who drinks needs it), we’ve saved heaps of money and my skin has never looked better. But the best bit is that alcohol no longer has control over me – take living in lockdown for example, if they run out of booze it’s not going to stress me, whereas once-upon-a-time, a glass of wine at 6 o-clock would have been a highlight of my day and the thought of not having one would leave me feeling something was missing or wrong. It could apply to any bad habit – smoking, junk-food, caffeine, clothes shopping – the less attached we are to these things, the less they have control over us, and the less anxious we will be if they become scarce or limited. It’s extremely empowering and liberating.

Of course, I may be able to say this about wine, but I’ll need a step for my high-horse when the local shops run out of coffee…

Joelle