Michael, Stuart, Graham. That’s right, three boys. I have three boys. John was my husband, my first husband. I liked him. Pat, Patrick…yes Pat, he was my second husband; he was an idiot. I think I’ve lived here a few years. I like it here. It’s more manageable than where I used to live, and close to the shops. What’s this on the TV, the Prince is moving away, he reminds me of Prince Charles, he’s an idiot too. Prince Harry, oh. Diana has a small boy called Harry, perhaps they’re related.
Where is Graham? Sometimes he comes round to see me. That’s Graham there, in the photo on the wall. He flies planes. I hate flying, you’d never get me in one. Is that me in the photo with Graham, in the plane? How strange, I hate flying. The phone is ringing, hello, Graham. No I didn’t call you Graham. No I didn’t, stop accusing me of things, you make me so mad. A missed call from me. Did I? When? Oh, I’m so sorry, I really didn’t mean to. You’re not angry with me are you? No there’s nothing wrong, I really can’t remember calling you. No I’m fine. Okay, I’m sorry to worry you. Bye.
Oh dear, Graham is mad at me now. He’s always mad at me these days. He treats me like a little girl, it’s embarrassing; he tells me off in front of other people, like a parent telling off a child. He gives me a daily allowance, accuses me of drinking too much; I’m sure he thinks I’m an alcoholic. I’ll be dead one day then he’ll be sorry. Michael and Stuart won’t stand for it. Graham is the eldest, he’s always had a bossy streak; he’ll be sorry when I’m gone.
I’ve lost my door keys again; perhaps they’re down my bra. No, not there. I’m forever losing things. I feel like I’m losing my mind some days. I used to be a midwife, I never forgot things, my mind was sharp. I used to administer medication to women, now these young ladies come round and stand over me whist I take my meds. Heaven forbid I should spit them in the plant pot when they’re not looking. I had a lot of responsibility. I was quite high up, I used to supervise a lot of staff. Look at me now, I can’t even be trusted with my own meds.
John died and I had three kids to look after on my own and a busy job too. It was so hard when John died, I put it in a box and locked it away. John was the father of my three boys. It would break my heart if I lost them.
Graham is in the next village. Stuart is down South. Michael…where is Michael again? In Edinburgh? Michael has a husband. It’s never bothered me. People can do as they please, so long as they’re not hurting others. Where is Michael? I haven’t seen him in a while. He’s the baby, he’s the one I’m closest to. Michael has always been more sensitive than the other two.
Who’s that at the door? I still don’t know where my damn keys are. Let me look out the window and see who it is. It’s one of those ladies in the white coats. She’s still knocking. I can’t find my keys love. My keys. MY KEYS. I CAN’T FIND THEM. She’s gone. There she is again. She has her own keys. Where did you get those keys from? Are they my keys? What? They’re the spare keys. In the key safe. I don’t know about that. Yes come in, come in. Go do what you need to do then leave me alone. I recognise her face, I know this one, she has a smiley face, she’s nice. She seems to know me. Make yourself a tea love, yes I’ll have a coffee. I’ll just be watching TV.
It’s Prince Harry again, he’s moving away because of the press. Shame about his mother, Diana. Here she is again, the white coat lady with my meds. I’ve no idea where my keys are. That’s good, she’s going to have a look for them. I’ve got a birthday card for Graham but I haven’t got a clue when I’ll see him next, maybe she knows. She’s saying he comes over every weekend, and once or twice in the week. Does he? You see, I have his birthday card and I’m not sure if I’ll get it to him. He doesn’t care, he treats me like a child. I’m not sure when I’ll see him next.
I still don’t know where Michael is, maybe she knows. I haven’t seen him in a long time. I’m not sure what happened to him. Is he still in Edinburgh with his husband? Where is he? He passed away. A year ago. I still can’t believe it. My little boy. He was the one who was most like me. I don’t remember the funeral. I have the order of service framed, there it is on my coffee table. Poor Michael, he was so mentally unwell, he took his own life. I know he’s not here but I can’t bring myself to believe it. It’s easier to forget.
I think I’ll go to bed now. I just want to go to bed. Can you lock up after yourself love? Yes I know where my keys are, why do you ask stupid questions, they’re in my coat pocket.
the three free spirits. 